Amidst the mountain of articles stating the success of the All Blacks, many of which suggest not even a Herculean performance from the Wallabies will be enough at Eden Park, Cheika has revealed his secret weapon.

“Mate, we have had an ongoing strategical plan for the All Blacks, we first implemented stage one when I waltzed into the oval office (more rugby ball shaped) and I have to admit it is a slow burner. That’s the brilliance of it!”

Punters have written off the Wallabies for the third and final Bledisloe test, but why does it appear so black and white?

For a number of decades the Kiwi side has had a prolonged and ever expanding statistical domination over the Aussies. Of the last 15 tests between the two nations, the men in gold have won 1, to make matters worse they have only won 3 of the last 28 clashes. Then there is the Eden Park hoodoo, which has prevented a Wallabies win at the stadium since 1986… Thats 3 decades, which explained in a way my Kiwi readers could understand, thats 3 sheep lifespan!

When probed about the Wallabies’ strategy for the weekend, Cheika couldn’t help but reveal their big secret. “We’ve been playing the age old tactic of a ‘false sense of security’, letting Hanson and his men get the better of us again and again until they let their guards down, then and only then will we pounce. Finally we feel like that time has come.”

I asked Michael “Grab The Check” Cheika if the technique seemed a little drastic, loosing numerous games just to catch the All Blacks offside and potentially win one, he told me I wasn’t a coach and I would never understand. He got me there.

His air of confidence and the fact he called me mate have me convinced the Wallabies are going to win this one. Lets just hope none of the Kiwi staffers or players read this, lest the surprise tactic would be ruined.

Written by Nelson Dale